By Elan

Most people who currently follow a Pagan spiritual path grew up in families that practiced some other religion. Most found Paganism as seekers. They were trying to find a closer fit for how their personal feelings connect to the divine.  That’s how it was for me.

When I first came to Eugene 16 years ago, a friend came to me with a worry.  She wanted to celebrate Yule, also known as Winter Solstice.  Since there were going to be no public rituals that year, she didn't feel that she could. This comment surprised me and touched me deeply.  As part of my previous religion my family had had many holiday traditions.  Even though we sometimes went to services on religious holidays no one felt it was essential to go to services as part of the celebration.  We celebrated holidays together as a family.  My family had many different traditions that we looked forward to as the holidays approached. 

That comment from my friend got me to thinking about what kind of Pagan traditions my family practiced. The answer was: not enough.  I decided at that moment that I wanted to develop some traditions that my children would, hopefully, remember fondly as they grew up. When I was a child most holidays consisted of lots of the 3 F's—family, friends, and good food.  So I decided to have a dinner that included exactly those things. I also included some handmade gifts—well, who doesn't like gifts?  I set a table with my best china. My husband and I planned a simple ritual to honor the return of the sun and acknowledge the promise of the coming summer and renewing of the fertility of the earth.

Everyone who came had a great time. I have continued this tradition for 15 years. Friends have come and gone; a few have passed away.  My children are grown. My Yule dinner is still going strong and that is the one time each year that I expect my family to get together. Over the years I have added one special item to the festivities. In 2004 I made a tablecloth. Now, each time we sit down to our Yule dinner, each participant writes their name on the tablecloth.  After dinner is over and everyone goes home I embroider their names using their signature as a pattern. Each year I use a different color thread and a different motif that reminds me of the season. I've embroidered candy canes, holly leaves, oak leaves and acorns, and even peace signs one year. When I’m all done I embroider the year.

Last year I became a volunteer Wiccan prison chaplain.  Even though the men can't come to dinner with me, I am planning to take the tablecloth into the prison with me and use it as an altar cloth. I will invite each of the men to write their name on the cloth to give them a chance to have a small part in my personal celebration of the holiday.

Elan is the current Chair of Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPs). She is a volunteer Wiccan prison chaplain with Oregon Dept of Corrections.