By Larry Gruman

Appeared in print Saturday, November 19, 2011

Seven score and seven years ago, November of 1863, President Lincoln traveled to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to deliver what has become the most quoted and best beloved speech in human history.  Dozens of books and hundreds of articles have been written about this unparalleled speech. There is agreement that this speech carries the classic definition of the American mission for humankind.

As I read the text over and over, one thing appears to me that has escaped the commentators.  Among the gems of wisdom that the president delivered, it was what he did not say that was the key to the power of his message.  Lincoln did not talk about secession or states' rights or rebels or the confederacy. He never mentioned slavery. When he talked of casualties at Gettysburg he said men died, not that they were killed.  It was what the president did not say that was so important.

That discovery shook me because I have always admired eloquence, regardless of the substance of remarks.  And it impresses me that repressing suppressing some remarks, biting my tongue, may be the most important thing I can do when talking.

 In my experience, words of judgment and criticism, sarcasm and negativism need to be used only after long consideration. Words that belittle or demean should be cast aside.  Words that accuse or denounce ought to be eliminated. As difficult as it is to swallow them and say nothing, the speaker and the hearer are better off if those words are omitted.

President Lincoln reached back to the Declaration of Independence for establishing common ground for every American. Then he showed that the Civil War was an extension of that initial proposition.  And when I think of Jesus talking to his Jewish audience, I find that he did not show contempt for the Old Testament laws.  He noted the laws as part of their common heritage. In my opinion,  he showed his hearers a  way of fulfilling those laws, making their purpose a part of a person's character instead of a demand from on high.

What Jesus did not do was to criticize the laws or make a judgment against those who took them seriously.  He never said they were inadequate.  But he wanted to integrate them into people's conscience.  

A few years ago a popular writer on educational issues captured attention when he wrote a book entitled SCHOOLS WITHOUT FAILURE. That idea attracted me, so I went to hear him lecture.  He was quick to show how defeating it is for someone to hear that he has failed in school or business or sports.  "You failed!" has a chilling effect.  But if you hear the words, "You haven't succeeded yet!" there is a wholly different response.  No judgment, no sarcasm; only a clear statement that you haven't achieved the goal as yet plus a suggestion that there may be a success ahead.

We have here some good examples of the accomplishment that can come if some words are left unsaid.  This I know, but I am still learning.

Larry Gruman  is a member of Central Presbyterian Church and teaches courses in the Bible at several churches.